A JOKE A DAY KEEPS THE STRESS AWAY – A Bajan Joke!
A Bajan man in the US for the first time walks into an all white patrons bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills. The Bajan guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s up with the jar?”

Well, you pay ten dollars and, if you pass three tests, you get all the money.” The Bajan man certainly isn’t going to pass this up.
“What are the three tests?
“Pay first,” says the bartender. “Those are the rules.”
So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into
the jar.
“OK,” the bartender says, “here’s what you need to do.
“First you have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila… the
whole thing, all at once… and you can’t make a face while
doing it.
Second, there’s a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore
tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.
Third, there’s a 90 year-old woman upstairs who has never
reached orgasm during intercourse. You’ve gotta make things right for her.”
The man is stunned. “I know I paid my 10 bucks, but I’m not an
idiot! I won’t do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things …”
“Your call,” says the bartender, “but your money stays where it
is.”
As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more,
he asks
“Weh de teeqeelah?” He grabs the gallon with both hands and
downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn’t make a face.
Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and
soon all the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then…. silence.
Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers
back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large, bloody scratches and bite marks all over his body.
“Now,” he says, “where de daamn old woman dat want she teet tek out???

A JOKE A DAY KEEPS THE STRESS AWAY – A Bajan Joke! Check it out @ http://ping.fm/kqVhk

WHO DECIDES WHEN WE HAVE SEX??
The question of who is elligible to have sex, when, where and with whom has long been a ticklish subject occupying our brightest minds. As a child until age 8, I had no comprehension of what sex was, like most kids those days in Antigua, in our spare time we were preoccupied with TV shows like the Flintstones, Tom and Jerry, Hawaii Five O and Sesame Street. Additionally, we boys built rollers made from Milo or Ovaltine tins or played cricket in the street with coconut branches as bats and mom's oranges and limes as balls while our sisters played doll house, crocheted or simply did house chores.

At high school some of us boys caught a glimse of a Hustler or Playboy Magazine for images that changed the way we saw our sisters, aunties and even our mothers forever! That revelation brought with it a distraction that would indirectly characterise our academic career and later performance in life. In the seventies, though teachers knew of the plight of young boys and girls in the Caribbean as it related to our sexual health and education they were powerless and the fact that our parents were so silent on the issue, we were lead to believe sex didn't really exist and most certainly was NEVER practiced by our parents.

This situation in a strange way gave a whole generation of youngsters licence to experiment. The net result was many unwanted pregnancies, abortions, the creation of extended families and of course the problem of sexually transmitted disease (STD's). I'm sure many of you reading this are silently saying to yourselves our generation was the last to enjoy safe casual unprotected sex.

It's 'All Change' now (a phrase borrowed from the London Underground) with the advent of HIV/AIDS in the 80's, as they say in Guyana, 'Tearing tale' across the Caribbean. With the Caribbean ranked as the second most affected region in the world in 2008, 240,000 people living with the virus and 12,000 deaths a year, these statistics make me shiver when I think of the things my generation got away with in the good old days.

So how does all of this translate to our kids reality today? Very gloomy!! They certainly are better advised to be less adventurous than we were; We parents should be conscious about the need to speak with them at pubity or before depending on the child's curious nature; and lastly, in my view be open about topics that relate to sex such as contraceptives, dating rules, and the tricks both boys and girls employ to get sex.

Of course there are those who will advocate abstenance thereby living the illusion that these kids nowadays will be obedient to the notion of not having intercourse when their best friends are rolling in it. I'm of the view that the abundance of information on the internet and elsewhere on an infinite number of topics relating to sex makes censuring kids' reading and embibing this sort of material to impress their peers or simply learn the ways of the popular kids, virtually impossible.

What do you think? Do we leave them to their own devices and hope for the best? Do we groom them to become nuns and priests thereby guaranteeing them some longevity? Or do we speak to them in terms they understand and deliver the message that might just save their lives?

WHO DECIDES WHEN WE HAVE SEX?? Check it out @ http://ping.fm/tMAVv

A JOKE A DAY KEEPS THE STRESS AWAY - A Caribbean Joke! Check it out @ http://ping.fm/7UlUW

A Guyanese Joke!
A Guyanese woman and a Guyanese man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt.After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a Guyanese man; that’s interesting. I’m a Guyanese woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”Flattered, the man replied, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely! This must be a sign from God!” The Guyanese woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle ofwine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”Then she hands the bottle to the Guyanese man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands the it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?” The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”
www.caribdirect.com

A JOKE A DAY KEEPS THE STRESS AWAY!! Check it out @ http://ping.fm/tU5Ie

What’s your relationship with money…?
Every so often I find myself in the third pew from the front of my local church. This happens when I believe my spirit could use a good cleansing from a week of professional and other temptations including eating that bit of cake my wife has forbidden me to touch.

It so happened yesterday’s sermon centred on the influence money has on some people’s lives. Ironic I thought as I prepared myself for yet another dose of the heavily advertised and promoted sequel WALL STREET – Money Never Sleeps after having seen the first installment many years ago. When I saw the first film in Guyana in the late 80′s I enjoyed it so much I bought the video and now the proud owner of the DVD. I was an ambitious advertising sales executive with drive and determination, at times I thought was illegal! But those were the good old days…the days when family, friends and responsibility in general were regarded as secondary to the All Mighty Buck.

The sermon was based on a passage from Timothy 6:6-10 which read, in part, ‘For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.’

Though I enjoyed the delivery and the many real life references the Bishop made to drive home the point (as if he really needed to) that the love of money is essentially immoral, I couldn’t help but feel a tad guilty about the energy and drive I’ve committed to my current business pursuits, pursuits that I believe are necessary to take care of my family.

I began to examine my motives when going after a deal; the several opportunities to be with my wife and kids, I’ve sacrificed for a deal; the risk I’ve undertaken for the sake of earning a better more rewarding life; and thought to myself…was it all worth it!!!??

Gordon Gekko, the character played so eminently by Michael Douglas is famed for saying ‘Greed is Good’ and ‘What’s worth doing is worth doing for money’, these words inspired a generation of young entrepreneurs and captains of industry in the 80′s. Is it any wonder we’re in a horrible recession today? We are basically reaping what we sowed twenty years ago.

So what is your relationship with money like? Are you in charge of your money or is your money calling the shots for you? Do you have a healthy relationship with your family or are they griping over how many hours you spend away from them grafting for that deal?? DFR